Friday, June 10, 2016

A Quick Tour of Hall (with a little b**tching)



Seated at a budget Western food restaurant that bared a misleading franchise name, I watched as teenagers shared their meals boisterously with enthusiasm I once possessed myself. The machine-made latte warmed its way down my gullet as I poised the porcelain receptacle with my nose-digging fingers as I collapsed my posture in a condescending fashion filled with pretend-wisdom. For awhile now, standing at the edge of a lifetime of material chase, I have realized that I know more now than I have ever did before but am yet still a Jon Snow of the world that awaits. 

Four years have passed since the start of my university journey and I am grateful to have had the privilege of living in on-campus lodging. This post is meant as a spoiler for any younglings who have yet to experience this form of living and also as a personal documentation purpose (because my unemployed butt has nothing else better to do la).

So first off, NTU currently has 16 halls named in numerical order and 2 other brilliant halls with brilliant names for brilliant people (scholars mostly). No hate though. The 2 new halls were established not too long ago but they have since seen a rising culture in their own rights with commendable performances in recent Hall Olympiad games (its that thing where the halls battle each other to the death for the sake of better ties. I kid I kid, don't flame plox.). To be fair though, every hall has a certain forte which makes every hall very unique in their own aspect. It's a little bit like the houses in the Harry Potter books but I shall not divulge too much information as these things are better left to self-discovery. And with further developments to the campus compound, more halls are supposedly being built to either separate the elites from the general population or to allow better cooperation between said elites (I'm still kind of confused about this issue at the moment but there are many things that confuse my simple mind including the dozens of contradictory policies I've seen and heard)

So now that you've gotten an overview of the number of halls there are, here's more information you don't need. There are an average of 4 blocks per hall ( I think. I haven't really counted them all) which could house about 600 students per hall (some wayy more, some lesser. didn't do much research here). With such a huge number of on-campus residents, coupled with ever-increasing rental fees, the school probably has the power to garner exorbitant prices for leasing of retail outlets and canteens which would maybe explain why Ayam Penyet in NTU is more expensive than Ayam Penyet in NUS even though they're both from the same franchise (I feel strongly about Ayam Penyet. Ayam Penyet is now a proper noun in this blog post). That said, I'd like to thank Mc Donald's for holding out for so long with your cheaper meal prices but you too have fallen to the pressure of inflation and we shall weep while we consume McSpicy over Double McSpicy (just keeding, we'll just pay more.)

It seems I have diverged quite a bit. OKAY, here is a picture of a TV lounge.

This is a place meant for gatherings because people apparently still watch television. Throughout the years though, one would come to learn that whilst named after the center piece, the TV lounge is but a mystical place for many wondrous activities that really do not revolve around the center piece. There was a time not long ago where this place could be used for meals and people could actually find a quiet spot to indulge in daily chitchat away from the over crowded canteens. Oh, what a place this used to be as bonds were forged over the unnecessary consumption of carbohydrates in the wee hours of the morning. Now, this is a barren land void of the consumption of food because the universe hates us. But I guess all good things must come to an end. LOL. (if you could only see the irritating face I have on as I am writing this.)


POST BOXES! Now, this is where true happiness really lies. If you're an avid online shopper or if you just do not want your parents finding out about your appalling consumerism habits, this is the place for you! Imagine having gone through a rough day in school, your project mates were playing Fun Run (do people still play that?) while you were slogging your butt off to avoid failing a module and then you pop by this magical place to find a gift which you have sent, TO YOURSELF! Online shopping is just amazing hahahaha! I really do have to thank the Hall Office people for always aiding the end process of the postal service. Do note though, they're not supposed to hold any of your items for you so if you predict your items won't fit in the post box, be nice and have it mailed registered and go collect it at the nearest post office (Jurong Point).


Ahhhh the laundry room. Most of you would not experience it, but there was a time where there were washing machines that were free to use. Unfortunately, the washing machines could not survive the constant underloading and overloading which they were tormented with. I guess it became too much of a hassle to get the washing machines fixed and these industrial washing machines were brought in to punish the residents for their inability to understand the workings of such technology. PADAN MUKA KAU. Sorry future generations of hall residents, we just did not have the right knowledge of such advanced technology during out time. So now it's a dollar to wash your clothes and you can be sure people would think twice before underloading the washing machines.




This is the machine that makes your clothes hot for a dollar. I'd say stay away from this machine unless you do not have enough underwear to last for the rest of the week. This machine also has the capability of undoing the stitches of your clothes and I would personally advice you to not put those super absorbent green army towels in there unless you want a weird unidentified dead marine animal smell on that lovely green fabric (I actually threw out a couple of said towels because I just couldn't handle the smell. My whole room was decorated in the smell like if a skunk had shared with the walls its butt juice. I'm exaggerating here, skunks seldom share with walls.)



The drying yard. This is a pretty decent place actually. When the sun is out, you could bring your laundry, your chou chou or even salted fish up here for some drying. This is also a pretty great place to chill, observe celestial bodies and also watch as the greenery around the campus gets torn up in place of more hostels. It's all good until somebody takes a dump in the toilets below and the exhaust pipe from the toilets starts churning up the fumes to be released in your place of serenity (see the white pipe in the picture?). You could say the designer did a real shitty job here but hey, maybe some people get turned on from these sort of things. Whatever rocks your boat.


The toilets are pretty decent in all honesty. Okay fine, on most days. Okay sure, only during the holidays. Okay okay, only after the cleaners have cleaned it. The amenities are definitely satisfactory but the main problem here isn't the devices. Similar to the case of the laundry room, it's the users of the toilets which keeps one anxious whenever they have to step foot into the forever-uncertain territory. It is here where I have questioned the most number of times if the people that I was living with were truly ready to face the world. I've honestly seen better toilet-trained animals judging by the aftermath of some of these disasters. I've had numerous feedback from the cleaners for the past few years on the atrocities they've seen committed and it really does question if undergraduates require a Toilet 101 module in order to fully grasp the social practices that govern the usage of such amenities. I have nothing but utter respect for the brave men and women who have to flip the wasteland to usable standards every single day. TIP: If you smell something before you step into the toilets, don't be curious. I've heard of stories of people slipping into comas from some of these incidents.


Last but not least, we have the pantry. Accessorized with a microwave oven where people have tried to dry their socks, shoes and underwear, an induction cooker, a water boiler and cooler where people have been sighted sucking from the nozzles and a sink which is amazingly constantly clogged, the pantry is no doubt one of the most often visited places. The photo above was taken during the holiday period when the masterchefs are back at home and not making those fancy salads served on the table itself. Those masterchefs sure are generous, always making salads for everybody. What really annoys me though is this utter disregard of anybody else living in the building and this has played out many times and more often than not, with the sink. As I am typing this post in the middle of the summer vacation, where there are at most a dozen people sharing the pantry, there is still a minor clog in the sink. The sink is basically what a few individuals have deemed the dustbin. Lemon slices, tea leaves, pasta, noodles, HAIR. I've mainly lived on levels dominated by female and no amount of make-up can cover up the ugliness that's deeply rooted in some of these girls' mentality. Now now, don't go all feminism on my butt now. I've seen fat ass grown men cooking pasta and leaving pasta salads in the sink but the thing which really takes the cake are these girls brushing their teeth, cleansing their face and washing their hair in the pantry sink. I'm actually fine if you do the above mentioned and hog up the sink for like half an hour but what ticks me the most if the amount of hair that's clogged up and uncleared after. By most mornings, the sinks would have accumulated a combination of fruits, carbs and hair garnish soaked in half a foot of soap, soup and sauce infused liquid. I bought a nice plunger earlier this year after hearing that the poor cleaners were using their hands to pump the clog out of the sink but it seems as though nobody else in the building knows how to use the plunger (sometimes it feels as though since I bought the plunger, it was inherently also my duty to unclog the sinks. And sometimes I do because it irritates me and if I don't do it, an elderly person would have to).



Gosh, that's a bit more ranting than I had initially planned. What I'm trying to put across here is that living in a hall teaches you many things. It teaches you all those ideological things such as independence and whatnot but it also gives you a glimpse of the real world. There are people out there who are not given as much credit as they should, there are people who do not give any thought to anybody's existence but their own and there are also people who simply just love Ayam Penyet.

There are many things I did not cover in this post and some of the things may no longer be relevant at the time of viewing. Also, I would lie to add that every hall has very different amenities and a different set of problems. I know I've ranted quite a bit but I'd still say I've had an overall positive experience living in Hall X for the past four years. I'll probably write another post or two about hall life in the next few weeks or so but meanwhile I am really trying to find time to hunt stingrays.

That's all for now, tight lines and smiley face :D

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